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Boys' Morale: Two Views and a Little Something You Can Easily Do About It

Boys' Morale: Two Views and a Little Something You Can Easily Do About It

Boys' Morale might be a key to understanding the Boy Crisis. This video takes a look at two possible harms to Boys' Morale.

If you like what you see, stick around for the end screens because they offer a free and easy, simple way you might be able to help the morale of the boys in your life if you think their morale needs a little boost.

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BOYS ARE GREAT STICKERS

You can get four stickers at no charge by sending a self-addressed stamped envelope to Our-Comeback, PO Box 434, Highland MD 20777.

See also our-comeback.com/equipment-room.

Calling Out and Naming the Female Power Structure

Calling Out and Naming the Female Power Structure

Female power? What female power? What female power structure? There can be no female power structure because there is no female power!

Men have all the power!

Au contraire!

This video is all about calling out and naming the female power structure.

Women say the male power structure is a pyramid, a hierarchy.

What does female power look like?

The name for male power is The Patriarchy. Woment talk about it a lot.

To facilitate men's examination of female power, we need to give it a name. As American philosopher Susanne K. Langer wrote, “The notion of giving something a name is the vastest generative idea that ever was conceived.” — Philosophy in a New Key: A Study in the Symbolism of Reason, Rite, and Art. (1942) Cambridge, MA, Harvard University Press. p. 142.

What name will we give to the female power structure? And once we know it's "a thing," what we will see and say about it?

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Photo Credit: Woman pointing finger - created by freepik - www.freepik.com

Men's Issues Standup Comedy: Stepping Out from Behind the Lace Curtain

Men's Issues Standup Comedy: Stepping Out from Behind the Lace Curtain

Men's Issues Standup Comedy might be the very best way to get out from behind the Lace Curtain. Comedy clubs, especially those with Open Mic Nights, are typically not owned by big corporations who feel required to be politically correct.

Standup can also be a great way to get people to acknowledge the truth. And that's not just the audience. It's also a great way to get Our-Comeback players out there standing up in public and expressing their ideas about what's really going on with men.

Here is Coach Kammer giving it a shot in 1996.

Maybe one day we'll even have a Men's Issues Comedy Festival. If we do, the only rule will be that men will not be the butt of the joke or the pathetic, hapless, clueless, beaten and bedraggled fools. We have far too much of that in every other form of entertainment.

Boy Crisis: Equal Opportunity and Fairness for Boys and Young Men As a Solution

Boy Crisis: Equal Opportunity and Fairness for Boys and Young Men As a Solution

No one knew it at the time, but achieving equal opportunity and fairness for boys and young men turned out to be a significant solution to the Boy Crisis.

This is an animated fable about the action boys and young men took to achieve that fairness and equal opportunity. They called their action the Blue Sky Rebellion.

When adults granted girls and young women equal access to the traditional territory of boys and young men, they did nothing to ensure corresponding adjustments for the benefit of boys and young men.

When the adults proved completely oblivious to the lack of balance and fairness they had created, the boys and young men took matters into their own hands. They mounted their own revolt to achieve for themselves the traditional benefits of the female domain, just as girls and young women assumed for themselves the traditional benefits of male territory.

The boys and young men called their revolution the Blue Sky Rebellion.

To a significant degree, the Boy Crisis subsided shortly thereafter.

Examples of Toxic Femininity from Science, Popular Culture, News, Documentaries and Candid Women

Examples of Toxic Femininity from Science, Popular Culture, News, Documentaries and Candid Women

This is a compilation of evidence and examples of Toxic Femininity from peer-reviewed scientific research, documentary data from a major TV network, daytime talk shows, scripted dramas from popular culture and the essays of honest, fair-minded women.

It will help you stand up for yourself and for men generally when you hear from friends and others that you as a man are immersed in a toxic culture. The basic idea is that men and women are equal -- equally human, equally good, and equally bad. If we need to be worried about Toxic Masculinity, we need to scrutinize female culture just as thoroughly for the existence of Toxic Femininity.

You might find this video to be a good start in that effort.

Why Don't Men Talk? Why Don't Women Listen? How Can We Make it Happy and Fun to Bridge the Gap

Why Don't Men Talk? Why Don't Women Listen? How Can We Make it Happy and Fun to Bridge the Gap

This video shows you how to run a program to improve communication between men and women and have fun in the process. Why don't men talk? Because women don't listen. Why don't women listen? Because they're afraid that just listening signifies that they agree with what the man is saying.

It doesn't have to be that way. You can make it safe for men to talk. You can make it comfortable for women to listen. You can help bridge the gap between the sexes and improve communication between them.

You can run the program for your whole community as a way to help address social problems connected with relationship breakdown.

Or you can run the program just for your friends as a party game guaranteed to be even more fun and important than Charades or Cards Against Humanity.

After you watch the video you'll find everything you need available for free download under the Men Are Talking heading at go.our-comeback.com/equipment-room.

Why Am I So Angry at My Girlfriend? And What Can I Do About It?

Why Am I So Angry at My Girlfriend? And What Can I Do About It?

That is a good question. "Why am I so angry at my girlfriend?" Rest assured you are not the only man asking it.

And good on ya for wondering what you can do about it rather than just deciding you always have to be alone or angry. It's smart of you to look around for some relationship help for men.

This is not deep, detailed clinical advice. It's just a simple, effective technique I learned when I did workshops with men in prison. And when it comes to accepting and expressing emotions, almost all of us men are in a sort of prison, aren't we?

It's quite possible that you're angry because anger pushed right past what you were really feeling.

Your real emotions, your deeper emotions, your primary emotions might need some help. They might need some confidence and encouragement before they can take the stage, stand at the mic, smile at the audience (your girlfriend) and speak in a way that gets your point across in a way your audience can hear.

An easy technique for building that confidence and giving yourself that encouragement is the "I feel..." statement.

This video is a primer on that technique. You can use "I feel" statements to guide, develop and improve your ability to truly, calmly, confidently say what you really feel, what you really want and what you really need to say.

Plus, it gives your girlfriend a good chance at being able to hear you and think about what you're saying rather than being defensive and trying to turn your problem around so it becomes just another problem that's all about her, what she wants and needs, and what a bad boyfriend you are.

"I feel" statements in relationships won't always help you get your way. And that's fine because you shouldn't always get your way. But the technique will help you at least get your problem on the relationship agenda for full and complete, perhaps ongoing, discussion.

Why Is There No Real Men’s Movement? And What Can We Do About It?

Why Is There No Real Men’s Movement? And What Can We Do About It?

When you look closely at men's lives, it's puzzling. Why is there no real men's movement? At least no men's movement of any great heft, clout, size or influence...

When you consider the indicators of sadness and stress men face -- suicide, incarceration, estrangement from their children, drug and alcohol addiction, shorter life spans -- it's amazing that men don't speak up.

One of the reasons is that men want to provide. We want to give; we don't want to take.

But how can we convince ourselves that we can't give a lot if we don't get -- and take and demand and insist upon, if necessary -- at least a little for ourselves? We need to make sure we get at least a little of the respect, appreciation, admiration, social support and social justice that any human being, male or female, wants and needs.

This video uses a familiar scenario that we all know and understand and draws a parallel to the larger situation we face in our lives every day.

Taking action for ourselves is good for everybody we care about!

Why Is It Always About Women

Why Is It Always About Women

Name a problem, any problem.

If it affects women more than men, that's all you'll hear. "Women, women, women." It’s always about the women.

If it affects men more than women, you won't hear "men, men, men." What you'll hear is "people," "persons," or "individuals."

Or, especially if the impact is almost entirely on men, you might not hear of that problem at all.

This video is a brief takedown of that sexist phenomenon. We can use it to make the point that our culture still prioritizes the needs of women -- as if their child-bearing function is still crucial to the survival of a primitive band of hominids wandering through wild grasslands.

We can use it also as motivation to stand up for fair and balanced resources to be devoted to men's needs -- and to our importance in building an advanced and caring civilization for everyone.

V-Day Satire: If I Only Had a V

V-Day Satire: If I Only Had a V

This men's movement song is a satire of V-Day, the day that used to be called Valentine's Day.

The day of sweethearts exchanging sweetnesses changed when the woman behind “The Vagina Monologues” decided February 14 should no longer be about hearts and romance but about:
• Violence, but only Men's Violence Against Women, of course.
• Victory (women’s over male oppression) and
• Vaginas (women’s only, don'tcha know).

The song was an entry in a song parody contest Coach Kammer ran in 2003. The hook was that since Valentine's day was now V-Day, no longer about hearts, the Tin Men would sing a song that was not longer about wishing for a heart, but rather wishing for a V.

The writer and performer is Weldon Cabaniss.

Examples of Toxic Femininity: Jennifer Lopez Doing It Well

Examples of Toxic Femininity: Jennifer Lopez Doing It Well

Most people who have viewed Jennifer Lopez Doing It Well probably don't see it as a glaring example of Toxic Femininity. Oddly, sadly, they probably mistake this popular music video for some sort of female empowerment.

But imagine a music video in which a beloved and celebrated male pop star portrays gratuitous violence against approximately a half-dozen women for which he experiences virtually no social condemnation or reproach. We would clearly and immediately condemn it as a significant and troubling glorification of violence against women.

Why do we allow women to get away with this? Let's call this out for what it is. It's Toxic Femininity. And Lopez is Doing It Well.

Life Options for Boys: The Logical Song

Life Options for Boys: The Logical Song

With the emphasis, even in childhood, for boys to "be men," Life Options for boys can be severely limited. Their magic, their zest for life, their belief that "they can be anything they want to be" can take a serious hit. The Logical Song laments the problem.

This video takes a transformative, gender-informed, boy-focused look at Roger Hodgson’s words in “The Logical Song,” which won the award for best lyrics from the British Academy of Composers and Songwriters in 1979.

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References
• Robin Leonard and Andrea D. Clements, “Parental Attitudes Toward Cross Gender Behavior.” Document PS031066. Education Resources Information Center (ERIC), 2002.
• Scott Coltrane, “Engendering Children” in Childhood Socialization, Gerald Handel (ed.). (Piscataway NJ: Aldine Transaction, 2005). p. 302.

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Video Thumbnail Image by Ken of Natureworks via Pixabay

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